My Husband and I are officially married for 1 year now. It has been a RIDE. To be completely honest, our first year of marriage is probably the roughest we’ve had since we got together in 2012. Nonetheless, I am very grateful for the experience and have truly learned so much.
Since getting married, I got to know my husband even more. In addition, I got to know myself a lot better, too. I’ve come to appreciate my resourcefulness, ability to cook, forgive, and love some more. However, with it comes some awareness on things I needed to improve on. The top 5 are as follows:
- LETTING GO OF THE PAST
– This is pretty huge for me. To be honest, I never thought I had a problem with this until I found myself reminding my husband of something he’s done YEARS ago. Whenever I do this, I don’t only hurt him, I hurt myself as well. It doesn’t feel good, but being aware of this now allows me to improve. As I type this, an idea popped in my head. Instead of me having he urge to remind him of the bad past, I will turn it around and remind him (and me) of a wonderful memory we both shared.
- LETTING GO OF MY SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT
– Another one that cuts deep. I’m sure this one found its roots to when I was still a child. I grew up quite privileged and got rewarded for pretty much every good deed I made. Being so used to getting a certain type of (good, maybe even spoiled) treatment led me to expect some kind of treatment from my husband. Letting your partner know about your expectations is healthy but expecting them to perfectly know and do everything is not.
- COMMUNICATION SKILLS
– From the above stems this one. I am certain that all relationships would benefit from improvement in communication skills. I noticed that most, if not all arguments come from poor communication. I think about all the times a fight could’ve been avoided if only I communicated properly with my husband. As a person who keeps things inside, it’s truly an effort for me to voice out my needs, desires, and even my dislikes. I notice myself do this more on a romantic relationship basis and not in platonic ones as I feel I need to accept them completely for who they are and not ‘demand’. Though it is true, a thriving relationship relies on open and honest communication.
- LISTENING SKILLS
– Yet again another one we can all benefit from. I am so bad at this sometimes. Especially when I am too distracted with social media.. There would be times I’d get too busy responding to emails, notifications, or even this blog and not hear a word my husband says 😦 I am combatting this by putting away my phone or any distraction whenever we have our smoke session. I also try to stop whatever I’m doing to consciously listen to him– though I truly still need lots of work.
– My husband is seriously the most patient person I know–at least when it comes to dealing with me. I am always reminded of this whenever I am acting like a brat–once again, most likely stemming from my childhood. In moments I feel the urge to “lose it”, I will spend MORE time (because I already do, but still lose it sometimes) breathing deeply to calm myself down and think of happy thoughts while on it.
*Quote pictures are all from pinterest and featured photo is a stock from pexels.com*
My first year of marriage showed me how human me and my husband is. It reminds me that we are all not perfect but the beauty is found in making it work night in and out. I cannot wait to look back a this post a year from now and see how much I’ve improved….
READ HERE: What I Learned After 1 Year Of Marriage
In terms of relationships, what do you guys think you need to improve on the most and why? Also, please share any advice you have! I’d love to read them in the comments 🙂