Things I need to improve on as a wife

Hello guys,

My Husband and I are officially married for 1 year now. It has been a RIDE. To be completely honest, our first year of marriage is probably the roughest we’ve had since we got together in 2012. Nonetheless, I am very grateful for the experience and have truly learned so much.

Yes I have rolls when I am not standing, too πŸ™‚


Since getting married, I got to know my husband even more. In addition, I got to know myself a lot better, too. I’ve come to appreciate my resourcefulness, ability to cook, forgive, and love some more. However, with it comes some awareness on things I needed to improve on. The top 5 are as follows:

    – This is pretty huge for me. To be honest, I never thought I had a problem with this until I found myself reminding my husband of something he’s done YEARS ago. Whenever I do this, I don’t only hurt him, I hurt myself as well. It doesn’t feel good, but being aware of this now allows me to improve. As I type this, an idea popped in my head. Instead of me having he urge to remind him of the bad past, I will turn it around and remind him (and me) of a wonderful memory we both shared.
    – Another one that cuts deep. I’m sure this one found its roots to when I was still a child. I grew up quite privileged and got rewarded for pretty much every good deed I made. Being so used to getting a certain type of (good, maybe even spoiled) treatment led me to expect some kind of treatment from my husband. Letting your partner know about your expectations is healthy but expecting them to perfectly know and do everything is not.
    – From the above stems this one. I am certain that all relationships would benefit from improvement in communication skills. I noticed that most, if not all arguments come from poor communication. I think about all the times a fight could’ve been avoided if only I communicated properly with my husband. As a person who keeps things inside, it’s truly an effort for me to voice out my needs, desires, and even my dislikes. I notice myself do this more on a romantic relationship basis and not in platonic ones as I feel I need to accept them completely for who they are and not ‘demand’. Though it is true, a thriving relationship relies on open and honest communication.
    – Yet again another one we can all benefit from. I am so bad at this sometimes. Especially when I am too distracted with social media.. There would be times I’d get too busy responding to emails, notifications, or even this blog and not hear a word my husband says 😦 I am combatting this by putting away my phone or any distraction whenever we have our smoke session. I also try to stop whatever I’m doing to consciously listen to him– though IΒ truly still need lots of work.
    – My husband is seriously the most patient person I know–at least when it comes to dealing with me. I am always reminded of this whenever I am acting like a brat–once again, most likely stemming from my childhood. In moments I feel the urge to “lose it”, I will spend MORE time (because I already do, but still lose it sometimes) breathing deeply to calm myself down and think of happy thoughts while on it.
*Quote pictures are all from pinterest and featured photo is a stock from*

My first year of marriage showed me how human me andΒ my husband is. It reminds me that we are all not perfect but the beauty is found in making it work night in and out. I cannot wait to look back a this post a year from now and see how much I’ve improved….

READ HERE: What I Learned After 1 Year Of Marriage

In terms of relationships, what do you guys think you need to improve on the most and why? Also, please share any advice you have! I’d love to read them in the comments πŸ™‚

59 thoughts on “Things I need to improve on as a wife

  1. this is soo….very sweet happy anniversary, I would have send you something for anniversary instead aye…. =) I agreee that we need to learn to listen to each other…and forgive…although I’m not married, I’m in a relationship, there is always rooms to give and take, and communication. I’m happy that you both have came this far. May your love for each other grow… xoxo soul sister

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Soul Sister! That means a lot to me πŸ™‚ there will always be room for improvement and I guess what makes it beautiful is our willingness to do it in the name of Love. I pray the same for you and your partner. May you both continue to thrive in love. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. All of these are major keys, Kat. I am very guilty of number one. It’s like I’ve got a wardrobe where I pile up stuffs my boo does when in a relationship, your writing this has shown me I need to replace the ‘wardrobe’ with a trash I can toss the toxic attitude and hurt that stems from not letting go. Thank you for this! I’m learning to be a better person all round in my next relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I still have lots to learn and work on too, girl. I think us women are naturally like that–we tend to keep things inside and let it come up after a long time haha. But I’m slowly realizing that this is also what sets the truly godly women. They just give it all to God.

      Much love and let’s keep being Queens. Xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Such an insightful post, not in a relationship now but I will certainly take note and learn from your experience.
    And also, don’t forget to take it easy with yourself.

    With love

    Liked by 1 person

  4. #2 really shows your development and maturity, it takes quite a bit of depth and honesty to be able to analyze something like that in ourselves. Happy Anniversary!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I can relate to a lot of this, especially communication and listening when there are so many distractions! They say the greatest gift you can give someone is your full presence and attention.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is true! In fact, one of the languages of love is quality time. There are people who feels loved when you give them your undivided attention. It pays to observe and then be able to speak in the love language that you and your partner both understand.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow love this. Can totally relate. I hit the 2 year mark in October and I definitely agree that the first year was rough. My goodness! Even the second year has just been one battle after another, but we have to keep fighting to create the life we have always dreamed of. Great post. Love the look of your blog πŸ™‚

    Mich x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Mich! So glad we both found each other here πŸ™‚ You are so right, we have to constantly work on creating the life we dreamed of. Congrats on your upcoming 2 years and may your marriage continue to thrive!


  7. I find your list interesting. When I was a counseling couples about their upcoming marriage the five things we covered was communication, conflict management, financial planning and family of origin. I also told couples the first year will be your hardest. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Keith! I really wish my husband and I were able to go to counselling before marriage. A lot of people did mention the first year to be the hardest as well. Thankfully with the help of God, we learn how to do better for ourselves, our partner, and our marriage.


  8. I think each relationship is different and the things that need to be worked on are unique for each one. In my past, I’ve needed to learn to be more open, to be more patient. One thing I’ve never gotten used to is yelling or names. I’m not sure how to let that roll off when it comes up. I kind of become a turtle and go in my shell.


    1. So true. I had an incident one time where the situation was truly heavy on my heart and I ‘thought’ I have forgiven and let go. I found when I finally truly have forgiven the offender and myself, the heavy feeling goes away and we really do not make a point to bring up what was done wrong.


  9. Hello. It`s truly great that you recognize the areas you need to improve on as a wife. It`s already a step forward in becoming a better person and spouse. All of the points you`ve mentioned are also applicable to other types of relationship like family and friendship. #1 and #2 are so important. Forgiving also means giving the other person a chance to prove that he`s truly sorry. If we keep reminding the other about the past, we`ll never fully move on. Also, I really agree with the photo/quote about self-entitlement. Instead of looking for ways other people must care for us, we must look for ways we can show them care and love first. You wrote a wonderful post!

    With Love, Grace ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your wisdom is always astounding! Thank you for sharing your insight. You are right, these are all applicable to all relationships. It is just very interesting how as humans, we tend to put our partners on high expectations and pedestals that these simple things tend to be overshadowed and sometimes forgotten. Constant reminders and instilling them regularly, consciously definitely helps though πŸ™‚


  10. You are such a sweet soul! Acknowledging your need for improvement is already a great step towards improvement. Holding on to the past hurts a relationship so much. Wishing you a marriage more blissful than you can ever imagine. You two look so good together!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Same as your number one on the list. I also have to start letting go of the past. I have become a possessive jealous girlfriend. I’ve been wanting to know all about his ex, what they did, what happened and the like. Men don’t really like to talk about it. But when he doesn’t want to talk to me about it, or if he told me he already forgot, I snap. Haha. I have changed little by little but I still hope the time would come when his ex-girlfriends won’t affect me anymore. Oh, and I need to work on doing house chores. We live together but most of the household chores are being done by him. It’s not that I don’t want to really, but I don’t know how. There was one time when he asked me to mop the floor ‘coz he was already tired from work and it took me almost two hours to get it done and ending up with my hands full of blisters. He never asked me to mop the floor from then on. @@


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